I am very far from perfect and embodied of imperfections. I know, I know, it’s extremely hard to believe! I am only human. I do make mistakes on a regular basis, and probably more often than I realize. I will say things, unintentionally, that may be offensive to others, without even realizing it. I may have done something, unknowingly, that may have hurt someone’s feelings. Admittedly, I know I’ve done someone wrong as opportunity presented itself, to where it haunts my conscience. Regardless, it’s my life’s story, which I hope may inspire others. Without poor choices and mistakes made, valuable life lessons would not have been learned. Hopefully, because of these learned lessons, I will instinctively know how to better handle and/or conduct myself in future situations, if and when they ever arise. Life is an ongoing adventure faced with undaunting obstacles. I have grown up having high expectations of myself. Now that I am somewhat grown up, I have learned to show myself more leniency and to be more self-forgiving. Or I can just do or think the obviously easy response to everything from now on and just say fuck it. 😊
Been hostage long enough.
Guilty as charged.
Exhausted from holding onto it.
Self-sentenced internal punishment served.
Time to forgive myself.
Time to love myself.
Time to let it go.
I accept my gift of self-forgiveness.
Thank you very much.
Concealed emotions once supressed now accepted
Twenty years of silent suffering finally surfaced
A blow to the ego was never intended
Understanding and sincere apologies appreciated
Forgiveness, yes. Admittedly, this cannot be fixed
Want to give me the world you took from me
Gifts a-plenty and kind gestures galore
Too much to bare and too late to serve their purpose
Humbled by realization of past mistakes
Eager to acknowledge and validate
Ownership of blinded hurtfulness
Years of devoted loyalty wasted
Love enough to let go
Thank you for the goodbye
Time for my new hello
This week’s been an eye-opener plus an emotional roller coaster for me. I just learned three people have cancer, all in various stages. Another friend had a heart attack just before his 50th birthday. I keep getting signs from a certain someone who’s passed, which can annoy me. To top it off, I feel at my wit’s ends on a weekly basis! How’s that for patience, healing and serenity! Lord, help me.
Better yet, Calgon, take me away!
Try as I might, but it never fails. When someone’s attitude is more on the negative side, aimed towards other people in the household – yes, it affects me, and I will react accordingly. I know it’s not about me, but can’t help to react verbally defensively. The movie, “Multiplicity”, just came on TV. This movie came on at the perfect moment. I truly believe it was no a coincidence!! If you haven’t seen it yet, please put it on your “To Do” list. That person has calmed down now, but now I need to reach that lower level. Give me strength!! Thanks for letting me share my venting.
What do you all do when someone starts “attacking” emotionally out of the blue? When actually the main purpose or goal was to ask for help?