Comfortable – Not Content

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(Photo from Malachiclothing.com)

Here I am, another confused, adult woman who feels like she’s reached her crossroads in life.  Can you blame me?  I’ll be forty-nine this year.  I see you’re shaking your head in disbelief.  I know, I know, but yes, it’s true!  My mind and spirit are still reminiscent of the ’80s and ’90s, yet my body says otherwise.  As I sigh quietly in the darkness of the room, I ask myself, “After all these years, what the hell am I going to do next?”  I’m so ready for retirement from my current career, but want to do something fun, something to fulfill ME.  I would definitely still need and want to work, but on my terms.  Please don’t ask me to join your team to become part of your downline, crossline, upline, etc.  Been there – done that, and I do not want nor feel the need to be another worker-bee to build someone else’s empire.  Thank you, but no.  I want my next ten years to bring fulfillment and satisfaction, more importantly, to me, my family, but also to be of service to others.  I can’t predict what my immediate future will have in store for me, but I know good things are in the making.  One thing’s for sure, I will not give up on hopes and dreams.

Life continues  .   .   .

Real Men French Braid

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(Photo from PrettyHairisFun.com)

First off, no I’m not a little girl with blonde hair.  With my husband’s support, I was on a mission to find a YouTube tutorial that he could follow along with, in hopes to learn how to french braid my hair.  I don’t even know how to french braid!  He was very willing to give it a whirl!  So, I found this tutorial where a simple french braid was explained step-by-step for beginners.  At least my husband had experience and was familiar with regular braids, you know, the kind he did on horse tails in his younger years while living on the ranch!  Bless his heart, he practiced and practiced on my hair, but he still said it didn’t look right.  Of course, I didn’t mind because it always feels so relaxing when someone plays with my hair.  Before, during and after, I got the lecture that my long bangs need to fully grow out, so the braid would look right without any “extras”.  Meaning, he’d like all my hair to be one length for easier manageability.  He’s too funny!  My teenaged son asked in confusion, “Are you braiding Mom’s hair?”  Needless to say, I ended up with two, braided tails, but no french braids.  He’s still on a quest to practice until he perfects his skill.  Did I mention he’s also my hair colorist?  That man attacks my gray hair roots with gloves and a brush applicator the way he would work on our cars – with great purpose and tenacity.  He’s a keeper alright, and that’s why I love him!

A Post with Bling

Ear BlingToday was my instant gratification day. Who am I kidding, I suffer from instant-gratification-syndrome on a regular basis, lol!  This photo is an exact depiction of my title.  As you can see, I have new additions.  Fresh and beautiful ear piercings!  I’m sporting a new POST earring with a subtle touch of BLING on each of my ears.  I just got them done a few hours ago. Mind you, it has been almost 30 years since I’ve had my first set of single ear piercings, so yes, I was a little nervous.  I was fortunate enough to have two very special compadres accompany me for moral support and encouragement.  I put on my big girl panties, so I could act brave, and I passed with flying colors!  I sat still, followed directions, touched my left ear only once after being sterilized during the prep. Then of course it was sterilized a second time.  None of this well-behaved mannerisms had anything to do with me being frozen with fear.  “Deep breath in”, she said, “Now deep breath out”, she ended.  Since I was such a brave girl, what else better than to reward myself (again) to a delicious sushi dinner with the ladies!  At least, that’s my justification for eating out, and I’m sticking to it.

My ears’ best friends for the next six weeks!  What’s next you ask??  Pondering the thought of a second tattoo in the very distant future  .  .  .  .  I love hearts and angels.  Any artistic ideas??

No Shoes Required

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So, my son and his cousins were able to ride the newly revamped, Twisted Colossus, ride at Six Flags Magic Mountain, but not me. No way, Jose, no how!! If it was just a minor face-lift or adjustment, maybe I could’ve. This roller coaster used to consist of very bumpy hills that had somewhat steep drops that varied throughout the track. It was jerky and shaky, but mild compared to the other newer rides. I was proud that I was able to partake in that particular ride. Sadly, when the loops and twists have now been added and are now what makes up the majority of the roller coaster, that’s where I draw the line. I know my limitations, and I also recognize that I’m not a youngster anymore.

It was a Friday, and I was well-prepared in anticipation of the tourist summer crowd. To my pleasant surprise, the Lord shined down a blessing unto us. Not crowded at all!!! That meant I actually had elbow room and didn’t have to walk through people mazes to get from point A to point B. I could’ve cried.

Getting back to the newly revamped ride: Although, I always have and still do suffer from motion sickness, I was at least able to try the roller coasters in my younger years. Through the years, I’ve gained more experience, to put it mildly, and accept the fact that I am now that Mom who sits and waits for her kids to exit the ride(s), and also walks aimlessly around the amusement park whilst soaking up the atmosphere of excitement in the relentless heat wave! Really, just think about it, people stand in long-ass lines for short-lived rides. They’re mostly dying from dehydration, and on the verge of heat-strokes, just for a cheap adrenaline rush!! That’s just cray-cray insane!! Alright, alright – I can still remember that rush of adrenaline feeling from when I was younger. Suffer that I did, with the heat, sweat, thirst and sore feet, it was all worth the wait. After I made sure that my son and my nieces had enough cash for food, etc. to last throughout their stay, I made my slow escape. I was able to enjoy a nice lunch in an air-conditioned restaurant still within the park. As I got closer to the exit, and remembered it’s freakin’ HOT, the local Cold Stone Creamery Parlor caught my attention. Of course I had to stop and go inside, duh! I ordered one of my favorites, and thoroughly savored Cookie Minster in a small cup. It was soooo yummily refreshing! I finally made my grand escape and ran errands.

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What’s this?? No shoes?? Is my son trying to be funny or just cooling off his panting dogs? I also wanted to know why, out of all his choices, he chose to wear socks with holes in them, or did he get holes in his socks from the heat through his shoes? Nah, he must’ve been messing with Mom, right? To my dismay, this texted shoeless-wonder photo was no joke. He actually lost both his shoes while on the ride “X2”!! Although he tried to brave through the rest of the day by wearing only socks, the heat from the asphalt was too excruciating and painful. It took a passerby to tell him to buy some flip-flops from the gift shop. Throughout the rest of his Six Flags adventure, my son donned his new “California” logo flip-flops paired with his socks, holes and all! At least the tops of his feet were protected from the sun. Aren’t shoes overrated anyway?

Time to be picked up. After enduring a very hot, but fun-filled day, they were told to come back at 10:30 p.m. to search through all the lost shoes. I told them to never mind that suggestion. I could only imagine the mounds of shoes lost for the day! Nonetheless, he got a new pair of tennis shoes the following day. So, the lesson learned: when you go on the ride “X2”, you are given the option and opportunity to remove your shoes prior to boarding. Like Nike’s slogan says, “Just do it!!”

Anchor or Lifesaver

lifesaver_and_anchor_postcard-r9f07313f09674e61ac72e232f3337caf_vgbaq_8byvr_324(Photo from Zazzle.com)

Why do I feel the need to be the caregiver to all? Is it my ethnicity? Or just in my nature? I’d say it’s a combination of both. I swear, I do this at home, work, and whenever I feel the need to step in. It’s a blessed or coursed instinct I have. Watching my Mom, specifically, while growing up, she made sure to cater to house guests and ensure everyone was comfortable, fed delicious, homemade food 24/7, and treated everyone like part of our family. I thought it was fun, but didn’t realize how much hard work and effort she put into everything she did. As an adult, I have more of an appreciation of her kindness and generosity. I sometimes wish I was that kid again. Wouldn’t it be awesome not to have any adult responsibilities??!!  No work, no commuting, no bills, no worries, just play all the time!!

Caregiver can be viewed twofold. Giving care to another in need, but all the while not realizing by doing this, taking care of your inner being, or soul. I really don’t mind it for the most part. It can be self-rewarding to know I’m doing good to others, but when I find myself bitching and moaning either out loud or silently under my breath, accompanied with an attitude of an ass, I have to stop and pause. I remind myself that it’s out of responsibility and obligation that I put this upon myself. I chose to do this and nobody forced me. Okay, maybe a little guilt may have a hand in my decisions. Mind you, it’s not dreadful or agonizing, but at times it can take a toll on me, physically and emotionally. That’s when I know it’s time to give myself a break, and do a little something-something to pamper myself. It could be just as simple as a trip to the nail salon, or buying a little bling for myself. Did I mention I should take stock in Brighton Collectibles? That’s another story in itself! Even writing on this dang blog is therapeutic and cathartic.  Dementia and Alzheimer’s disease does run in my family. So, I would hope that if I ever needed care during my older years, that someone would provide care for me with a kind heart and compassion.

Alrighty-then, it’s 1:30 a.m. PST, so now I’m able to go to sleep with a clear conscience. (I think)  Thanks for reading my ramblings and have a fan-frickin-tastic day!!

My Heart & Soul

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It was Father’s Day, June 1996. My husband and I had just returned home from a late evening after celebrating the day at my parent’s house. We always had a good time when food, family and jokes were readily available. I hadn’t been sleeping well because my belly was larger than a basketball, my back was sorer than a working whore’s, and my feet were swollen to the size of a hobbit’s! My first baby was two days over due, but had its own mind made up on when the big day would arrive. It was almost midnight. I was so very exhausted, and knew I was going to get the best sleep ever. (Defcon 5)  By this stage in the game, I needed to sleep on our leather recliner in our bedroom. It was calling my name. Oh, but wait, just when I got frickin’ comfortable and ready to sleep, I felt an odd sensation (you know where) followed by another undesirable warming sensation. Oh good Lord, my water broke! Why now??!! (Defcon 4)  I was too sleepy, grumpy and I didn’t want to do anything. For Pete’s sake, the next several hours were spent sitting on the ceramic throne in our bathroom. My body was happily cleansing itself while I became hungrier and hungrier!I had called my OB/GYN to give him the play by play. I was allowed to eat plain toast, whoopty frickin’ do!! According to him, it wasn’t time to go to the hospital just yet. All the while my, soon-to-be-father, husband was fast asleep on our comfortable bed awaiting to be at my beck and call when it was go time. Of course my husband and I both successfully attended those birthing classes to learn breathing techniques and what to expect before, during and after labor. I was confident that we had it down and we were well prepared. It was going to be a piece of cake. The plan was to not receive any medication for pain, deliver naturally, and lose all my baby weight before I was discharged from the hospital. You can’t blame me for dreaming. Back to real life: I forgot what contractions were supposed to feel like, and had to call my Mom for clarification. She said, “They feel like menstrual cramps, but more intense and last longer.” Yup, that’s what I was feeling alright while still at home and timed them approximately 2-3 minutes apart. (Defcon 3) By this time it was 5:00 a.m. and the doctor gave me the okay to get to the hospital. I remember the delivery room was gorgeous and my husband popped in a VHS tape into the room’s VCR and we watched “Field of Dreams”.  Now I was really feeling the intense back labor pains, and for some strange reason my body decided to twitch/jerk (not twerk) every few seconds on its own. It was uncontrollable and so frequent to where my husband had asked me nicely to stop doing that. I thought, “Really? Do you think I’m enjoying twitching/jerking unexpectedly?”  Instead, I just calmly replied that I couldn’t control it. Man, I just wanted to sleep!

Fast forward to about 18 hours into labor. In the earlier stages, the nurse gave me Pitocin to induce labor. Now, I already had two helpings of Statol, so much for not using pain meds. To top it off, my cervix was not cooperating or dilating to the exact specifications required for natural child birth. (Defcon 2) NOTHING was going according to my fairytale plan. Next step, cesarean section was discussed. I was so bummed about hearing that option, but the baby’s health was what mattered most. A surgical team was put together, and we all met in the not-so-gorgeous surgery room. I forgot to mention that the epidural didn’t work, so I went under general anesthesia! I went from not wanting any drugs, to having to use the full menu! (Defcon 1) It was as if I had just blinked my eyes, and I was struggling to keep them open. As I was laying on the delivery/surgical table, the doctor put this little, wrapped up bundle of joy directly next to my face. Success!! We had a healthy, baby boy!!

Today, marks his 19th birthday. He was such an easy baby to take care of. He was fun, loving, and amazingly smart. He’s grown to be a handsome, young man, and I’m so glad we have a close enough relationship to where we can talk about anything and everything. He loves to make people laugh. It hasn’t always been easy as pie, but I’m proud of his accomplishments and the individual identity he has made of himself. He’s a rare one. He’s my heart and soul.